no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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