i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
