Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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