Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
