It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
