were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
