If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
two words: eviction party
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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