and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
