I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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