hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We have started to decorate penises.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
