You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
