That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
