Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
