Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
