How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
