I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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