Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
