Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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