3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
