Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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