Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
