the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
