what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
