oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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