No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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