we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
