i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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