ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
