i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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