Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
