I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
only if we run a train.
done.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
