you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
