i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
