No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
