he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
