Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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