I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
