are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are two peas in an std pod
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
