I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This is the high leading the old right now
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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