i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
