Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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