guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
