I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
