That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
