8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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