I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
