This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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