While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
