i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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