hell yes lets make some ravioli
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
