I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
